My Crazy Crazy Aunt

My Aunt (Mom's Sister) was just in town. She is fucking coocoobanana's. I can't stress enough how much I love her and how much she makes me laugh but seriously crazy. A few quotes from her stay:

"I got lost in the shower! Just about had a damn heartattack." WHAT? You got lost in the shower? I have been trying to type out her explanation of getting lost in the shower but it makes no sense, so lets just leave it at her getting "lost" in the shower and how incredibly odd that is.

Walking into my bedroom, she sees my bed and says "YOU COULD HAVE A THREESOME IN THAT BED!" My bed is nothing special or gigantic by any means so I have no idea what possessed her to comment on the potential for a threesome.

Sitting in my parent's living room with Mom, Stepdad, and Auntie, my aunt asks me "will you go to the toy store with me?" "Sure, Auntie. Are you picking up something for C? (her grandson)" Her response made my stepdad throw down his news paper and walk out. It made my mom choke on her coffee and blush 5 shades of red. It made me laugh until I couldn't breathe. What did she say? "No, not a real toy store. An adult toy store. I feel like my vagina is closing up its been so long since something has been in there. Its just been way too long since I've had an orgasm." I also feel the need to mention that I didn't take my aunt shopping for a new vibe.

I wish I had spent more time with her to catch the other random remarks she said during her visit.