Fuck Valentines Day

I'm so fucking cranky right now. I hate not knowing where I stand with G. I hate that I can't read him. I never know what the fuck he is thinking. I hate this dance we're doing. I think I'm done. It's too hard to get to know someone with the hope of dating them eventually when you don't know if they still feel the same way. It's too fucking hard I tell ya. I can't handle that when I see him, it takes every ounce of me not to beg him to be my boyfriend (classy, right?)

I'm going to try to distance myself from him because I just don't want to play this game anymore. He seems like a pretty amazing guy and ideally I would like to be at least friends. But reality isn't like that. He's amazing and I can't just be friends with him without having a little break in my heart, at least not right now.

So, here I am, spending yet another V-day on my lonesome. And why the fuck do I care? I never paid attention to V-day when I was in a relationship, I could have cared less but when I'm alone, it's a big fucking deal apparently.

Plans for tonight...homework, laundry, laying on my living room floor with some seriously depressing music. Fun times.