Sometimes I wonder if people have the same insecurities that I do. Sometimes I wonder if my own insecurities are reality or just my distorted perception of myself.
I think we can all relate to the "fat days" or the "ugly days," but what if those days are more often then the "hot days." That's how it is for me. I question all the time whether my own perception of myself is actually how I am. I'm not going to sit here and say that I'm ugly...but I picture all of my friends and to me they're all gorgeous no matter what weight they're at or what kind of clothes they wear. They're all beautiful in my eyes. I don't feel like I measure up to them at all. And it's not just my friends, there are very few ladies I run across that I don't see the beauty in.
For a long time, I just thought it was my own perception of myself and my own insecurities. But the longer I go without a boyfriend, or even really being hit on I gotta wonder, maybe I am a total dog. Don't give me the bullshit that beauty is on the inside, yah beauty is on the inside but that's not any good if no one is attracted to you. It's easy for me to look past a guy at first because I'm not physically attracted to him. I think I have a bit more maturity than a lot of people my age, where my attraction to someone can change the more I get to know them but there are still guys that I'd never go for. Maybe I'm that girl that most guys would never go for.
So I gotta wonder, what the fuck is physically wrong with me? Am I unattractive?
WHAT'S FOR LUNCH? DON'T ASK ME . . .
4 years ago
1 comments:
i don't know what you look like, but i can pretty much bet that you aren't a total dog nor are you unattractive at all. the same way you view your friends and other women is probably the way they view you. we scrutinize ourselves a lot more than other people do. its a long hard road, but i hope one day you'll come to see (as i've learned) that being in a relationship is not an indication of your attractiveness. don't place your self worth on the basis of others like that. you gotta feel hot for yourself, because if you don't, it doesn't matter who thinks you are hot or wants to be with you, you won't ever feel hot.
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