WTF Happened?!

What the hell happened between last week and this week? All of a sudden, I'm like, "YAY! I'm single!" Excuse me? Wasn't I whining last week about how I needed someone in my life? Not this week apparently. This week is Amanda Empowerment Week and I'm totally stoked to be single. I just want to make this clear, I'm not stoked about being single just because, if I really wanted to, I could go and fuck every guy I saw, or even flirt with guys. It has nothing to do with guys. I'm more excited about the fact that, in general, my year+ of being single has brought a lot of amazing things in my life.

I've gained a lot of self esteem. No, I'm not talking about me thinking that I'm hot shit and can get any guy I want. I realized, after analyzing every aspect of my past relationship, that I'm not a worthless cunt ('scuse the language) and that I'm worthy of being loved and being treated with respect.

I've had a year of fun. Obviously, I've had some hard times but in general, this last year has been a lot of fun. I've spent time with my girlfriends, made new friends and gone out and done things I couldn't have done when I was with my ex.

I started school! And I've done really really well this first semester.

My life has been so much better and I guess sometimes I forget that. Am I lonely? Yes, I am. I miss affection and intimacy. I miss waking up beside someone. I miss holding hands and having late night discussions. I miss a lot of things that are involved with a relationship. But it doesn't matter anymore. I am able to survive without these things. I will hold out for someone that is worth my time. My happiness shouldn't depend on someone else. And I'm not going to let it anymore.