Drunken Shenanigans of a Friday Night (booze ban broken)

I can't even begin to explain the sheer oddness of last night. I went to pub with BFF1...first time I've been social in a long time. The vibe seemed so odd there that night, and I later figured out that all the oddness was just for me and me alone.

Odd moment number one: After a few drinks with BFF1 and some other friends, a group of people came into the pub. Included in this group of people was my ExBFF (who I had a falling out with months ago and haven't seen or talked to her since) and her asshole husband. They aren't the most civil people ever so I figured it would be best to talk to her first instead of waiting to see if they decide to make some asshole remark or something. So we briefly chatted, hugged and that was fine. But it felt weird sitting in my group of friends and having her and her group of friends and both of us so obviously not wanting the other person to be there. But nothing crazy went down or anything it was just weird.

Odd moment number two: My asshole Ex's brother showed up to the pub and followed me around almost the entire night telling me how much his family misses me and how they hate Ex's new GF. It was sweet but also annoying. He's an annoying guy as it is so to have him drunkenly proclaiming his brotherly love for me all night was just a little too much to bare.

Odd moment number three: Blue shows up, without new girlfriend and we chat awkwardly. At this point I manage to down not one but four rye cokes in about 10 minutes, making my nightly total 8 rye and cokes (I ran out of money after this point so no more rye and cokes but did manage to scam a beer off of Ex's brother later on.) The night continued and I catch Blue looking at me a few time, he catches me looking at him a few times...it was just weird.

Odd moments numbers four to infinity: A new potential fuck buddy? We shall name him Hands (I'll explain in a moment and just know, I'm not very creative when hung over). Hands has sorta been hitting on me for a while now but I never intended on taking him up on the offer for two reasons, he's 20 yrs old so that's a little young for me and he and BFF1 have hooked up before and there's got to be some unwritten rule about hooking up with the same guy your friend has hooked up with even if there isn't any feelings between them. Now she is constantly telling me to go for it with him because apparently he's amazing in bed despite his lack of size, but I always stood my ground and tonight I wasn't intending on making any exceptions. BFF1 and I were going to cab it back to my house and have a slumber party anyways so there wasn't even an opportunity.

At some point in my drunken haze, I managed to steel Hands' hat and decided to wear that the rest of the night and we flirted and just hung out. BFF1 comes up to me at one point and says "I'm not sure if I'm going to go home with you tonight." I knew what this meant; her ex FWB was at the pub and she had been debating whether or not to start that up again (as he had been persisting for the last few weeks). She mentioned that I was wearing Hands' hat and implied that this meant that I was going home with him. I said "No! don't be silly, I'm just wearing his hat because I'm drunk!" Drunken shenanigans continue on and at one point Hands and I are out back having a smoke. Blue is out back as well. Hands and I are flirting and cuddling a bit because it was cold and the idea of hooking up with someone was really starting to be a temptation so I casually suggested the idea (quietly) to Hands who responded with one of those incredibly sexy, grab me by the front of my belt and pull me towards him and plant a mother of a kiss on me, moves. All this went down, right in front of Blue (weird!) So we go back inside and the pub is closing. I run up to BFF1 and said, "I don't think I'm going home alone, as long as it's okay with you because just say the word and it'll end." She laughed and explained it was fine, reminded me to be safe and to have fun.

Now to the juicy stuff. Hands and I make it back to my apartment and we start making out on my bed. He is, without a doubt, the best kisser ever. It felt like we made out for forever, it was awesome. Things progressed from there. His mad kissing skills was just the beginning for his mad skills in general. Soon enough we're both naked (he took the time to take my socks off...is this weird? It seemed weird at the time) and fooling around. Holy Hannah the boy has magic fingers (hence the Hands codename) and one helluva magic tongue. Excuse me, while I masturbate at the thought of this. The sex was great but not nearly as amazing (and I mean amazing) as the foreplay. He was really rough and gentle all at the same time. I mean he'd kiss me really really hard but at the same time as caressing my face or hair or hands or something...me likey. But holy shit, what an awful fucking sleeper. He felt the need to practically smother me the entire night, but whatever it was worth it. We woke up in the morning and watched Transformers and then he left.

Shortly after he left, I went to the bathroom and realized just how rough he actually was. My lips are swollen and bruised. I have bruises all over my body. Again, me likey.

I talked to BFF1 a little while ago, to see how her night went. She didn't end up with her ex FWB...she ended up in Blue's bed. WHAT?! Ya, in his bed. She said, once she realized that it wasn't a good idea to go back to her FWB she asked Blue to call her a cab. He told her, if she wanted, she could crash at his house. Since they are such good friends, I guess this didn't seem like a big deal to her so she agreed. Long story short, he tried to hook up with her but she convinced him that that is a bad idea and slept in her jeans and a tank top. I'm sorry but doesn't he have a girlfriend?! What about his girlfriend?! And what prompted him to try really hard to get one of his closest friends in bed with him? Asshole? Ya, I think he just got bumped up to the number one spot on the Douchebag scale.

Well that was my drunken Friday night. It was really sad that I couldn't do the booze ban to the end. I don't even know what prompted me to drink in the first place but it was worth it in the end, despite all the oddness that went on.