Our first official date

Which seems funny to say because you know he's my boyfriend, but again, we are trying to take things slow.

He picked me up this morning at 9 (OMG! 9 am! He's a morning person...scary) and we went to the flea market in search of Tubular Bells on vinyl. We did not find it. Again, he's super awkward like me and he seems to have a lot of the same weird hang ups I do. Today's shared weird hang up...the flea market. So many people, so many odd smells, so little room. You could tell we were both getting anxious being there and so we left after a quick scan of the place.

We had breakfast and then went back to my house and played some crib and then decided to go to a movie. Since the movie didn't start for a few hours we just laid on my couch and napped (with a little bit of making out in there for good measure). I know we talked about taking it slow but you have no idea how badly I want to doooooo him.

So we went to the movies and then he dropped me off at home as he had a bunch of crap to do today. So that was that. First date a success I think. He was lovely, as he usually is. It was less awkward.

The whole idea of a relationship kind of terrifies me just a little. My last relationship was a really bad one and this one sort of happened really fast (way to fucking go Drunk Amanda.) I like that we're calling it a relationship, I'm just a little disappointed that I can't even remember the first time we kissed and how we ended up in my bed (surely it was my idea because I do slightly recall him offering to sleep on my couch.)

I guess we just continue the dating and see where it goes. The heartbreak still worries me though. My insecurities are running on an all time high right now and I'm scared shitless that at any moment he's going to realize all my flaws and end it.

Oh! One more thought! He doesn't smoke and even though he said it's okay if I do, I don't seem to have any problem at all not smoking around him.