Well that was interesting...

Plans for the weekend: Friday - Pub for a birthday party. Saturday - Work function at a pub. Sunday - Afternoon hockey game. Sounded to me like my weekend was going to be filled with drinking (You can't go to a hockey game and not have a beer!) I was really looking forward to this weekend.

Friday was good. I had a few drinks at my friend's before we went out to the pub. When we did get to the pub it was pretty dead but it was still early so I had high hopes it would pick up. After a few drinks I went outside to have a smoke and out walks J. J is a guy that I met about a year and a half ago. He's a giant. Well, 6'6 I would say. He's a total dork also. The first time I met him I fell in love. We made out that night but it never went any further. We ran into each other all the time at the pub. Always had a great time too. So as we were walking to the dance floor, I drunkenly said, "I have a crush you." He said, "Are you kidding? I've had a crush on you since the first time I saw you doing the running man on the dance floor! I wanna take you on a date." *SWOON* Seriously! We ended up parting ways shortly after we exchanged numbers as I was with a big group and his group was leaving to another place but we text the rest of the night. I got basically no sleep but felt surprisingly ok in the morning.

Saturday I went out with everyone from work. This isn't just my friends from work, this is a work function so there are a lot of people there. I started drinking at Poo's house before the party so I was a bit tipsy by the time I got there. I should have stopped drinking when I got there but I didn't. Big mistake. I got hammered at a work function and made sure everyone knew it. So when I go into work on Tuesday, that should be interesting. Oh well though. People have done worse. I didn't flash anyone, dance on anything, fight with anyone or throw up. So it could have been a lot worse.

When I woke up this morning after a whopping 3 hours of sleep (making my grand total over 2 nights, about 5 hours) I almost immediately threw up due to the hangover. I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I gotta say, hockey games really suck balls when you're that hungover.


I'm exhausted, a little embarrassed, confused, twitter-pattered and nauseous.

Random Things That Happened Over The Last 3 Weeks

A list for you all...

- I bought a new car. Well I ordered a new car. I’m currently waiting for it to come in from the factory.

- My current car randomly started to die. Replaced a Fuel Sensor.

- Car wouldn’t start. Cranks but no start. Replaced battery.

- Got 3 blocks from work and heard a weird car noise. Flat tire.

- Flat tire can’t be repaired. Don’t wanna buy a new tire. I have snow tires at home though.

- Drove home on my teeny tiny spare going 50km/hr. Took me an hour and a half.

- Replaced tires with snow tires.

- Thought about how I could get away with stealing my neighbors new puppy.

- Considered stabbing my neighbor to inherit said puppy.

- Saw a car commercial. Disappointed I didn’t get the car from that commercial. Realized that commercial was for the car I ordered. Felt stupid.

- Lost my neighbors keys.

- Had to get a locksmith to open her door.

- Got a random crush on a guy at work that I never found attractive before.

- Started texting with guy at work.

- Constantly question if I actually like him or if I just want a relationship.

You know it's a good night when you wake up covered in mustard...

Drunken adventure was the plan for the night. I would say it was a success. An expensive success but a success nonetheless. I gauge this by the fact that I woke up with mustard all over me and a sprained ankle. If that doesn't say good night, I don't know what does.

Night starts at my friend's house. I call her Poo so that is how I will refer to her here. Poo and I had a few martinis and a few shots. Played some Yahtzee, had some laughs. We got a ride down to club 1.

Club 1 was good. Had some drinks and a few shots. But because we were desperate for adventure, we moved on to Club 2. Club 2 had little promise of drunken adventure. There were literally 3 other people there. It did not stop us from having a drink and some shots though. And dancing. Pretty sure there was dancing there. This may or may not been where I sprained my ankle. There are steps leading up to the DJ booth and I'm pretty sure I fell down them. But I must not have been hurting too bad because the night had pretty much just started...although my memory is a little foggy with everything that followed after Club 2.

So next came Club 3...which I assume was followed by more drinks and more shots. Then Club 4 which had a long line up so we decided to get a hot dog. This is where the mustard comes in. Somehow I managed to get mustard all over Poo, and myself. But, we didn't let this ruin our already awesome night. Covered in mustard, we went back to Club 4 and waited in line. I don't think we were there long, and I'm pretty sure this is the point that I got loser drunk as Poo apparently ordered me a "double water."

Next stop home. I woke up insanely hungover and wondering what the fuck happened and how we got home. But we laughed at the mustard stains and my sore ankle. We joked about how we're gonna end up on The Dirty.com and be called Mustard Sluts or something ridiculous like that. And later on as I was riding along in the backseat of my parent's truck, on the way to a major hangover breakfast, I looked down and saw a little bit of mustard on my leg. I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard I was crying.

A sprained ankle and mustard stains...it was a great drunken adventure with my best bud, Poo.

Why do I find such shitty ass friends?

I've lost a number of friends in my life due to drama. I fucking hate drama. There's nothing I hate more than bullshit girl drama.

There's this guy that started at my work...wait, wait, maybe I should start with my new "friend". She lives in the building across from mine. Our patio's face each other so we spent last summer just waving at each other as we both lounged on our patios, drinking beer, reading our books. Eventually she invited me over for a beer, and well, we hit it off. She was a lot of fun to be around and had NO drama. I mean she had a little drama but never dwelled on it and it never seem to affect how she lived her day to day life.

One day I text her as I ran into the new guy at work. He was so damn cute and totally my style. I ended up chatting with him a bit, we had our first aid class together the following week and I was looking forward to hanging out with him. We hit it off almost immediately during our course and by the time I had gotten home that first night, he had added me to FB. Excited, I logged on and saw we had 3 mutual friends. Two were work friends (which made sense) and one was my friend from the other building. I text her as soon as I saw that. Something like, "woah! small world, you know the new guy at work?! weird!" After a long silence, I got a message back from her. "Stay the fuck away from him. He is mine. I will not say it again, stay the fuck away from him." Ummmm, excuse me?!

First of all, I am respectful of my friends and expect the same sort of respect back. What she said to me was beyond a level of disrespect that I will stand for. I called her out on it. I could care less about the guy, I mean had she said to me "Amanda, I have a history with him and it would hurt me if you pursued it." I would have been fine. But no one has a right to say what she said to me. I do not put up with bullshit drama.I called her out on it and she chose not to respond. I mean the guy isn't worth talking about anymore but I am still a little bent out of shape about the whole thing. We spent a good two months awkwardly avoiding each other in the parking lot and around the neighborhood and one day she finally called me and asked to talk. Really she just wanted some books that I had back and that was fine. She never said one word about what she said to me or how she reacted to the whole situation. But I thought, to make my life here a little less awkward and annoying, I'll just smile and be nice. So she starts calling and texting again and I start smiling nicely and not avoiding her so much anymore.

Regardless of how I pretend to be her friend, she is still a shitty person in my books. I want to clarify that it has nothing to do with the guy. I get people have history and I get that it would be hard for a friend to go out with someone you used to have a history with - I respect that. It has everything to do with what she said and the fact that she refuses, to this day, to apologize for being a bitch.

The truth is, I still avoid her and she's catching on. She whines when I go out with my other friends. She whines when I don't text her back right away, she has become the epitome of the kind of friend I hate. She is clingy and annoying. I wish I could just cut ties but it was so awkward whenever I would run into her. I seriously hope she moves soon.

I think I'm a good friend. I take care of my friends. My friends mean everything to me and I will do whatever I have to do to be there for them but I won't for her. It is a superficial relationship and that is it.

My Crazy Crazy Aunt

My Aunt (Mom's Sister) was just in town. She is fucking coocoobanana's. I can't stress enough how much I love her and how much she makes me laugh but seriously crazy. A few quotes from her stay:

"I got lost in the shower! Just about had a damn heartattack." WHAT? You got lost in the shower? I have been trying to type out her explanation of getting lost in the shower but it makes no sense, so lets just leave it at her getting "lost" in the shower and how incredibly odd that is.

Walking into my bedroom, she sees my bed and says "YOU COULD HAVE A THREESOME IN THAT BED!" My bed is nothing special or gigantic by any means so I have no idea what possessed her to comment on the potential for a threesome.

Sitting in my parent's living room with Mom, Stepdad, and Auntie, my aunt asks me "will you go to the toy store with me?" "Sure, Auntie. Are you picking up something for C? (her grandson)" Her response made my stepdad throw down his news paper and walk out. It made my mom choke on her coffee and blush 5 shades of red. It made me laugh until I couldn't breathe. What did she say? "No, not a real toy store. An adult toy store. I feel like my vagina is closing up its been so long since something has been in there. Its just been way too long since I've had an orgasm." I also feel the need to mention that I didn't take my aunt shopping for a new vibe.

I wish I had spent more time with her to catch the other random remarks she said during her visit.

I'm back, bitches!

Ok so I attempted at writing a tamer blog so that it could be less anonymous and that was, well boring. So I'm back to this blog despite my 2 year hiatus.

So to start this triumphant return to blogging, I will begin to do a very very short update on the last 2 years. Somehow I managed to make it through the many rounds of mass layoffs at work and now that things have started to turn around for the company, I managed to score a kick ass promotion and all of a sudden love my job. Who the fuck loves to get up at 5am to go to work? I do, apparently. You should probably just kill me now because I'm turning into one of those people that I hate. One of those people that only has their job to talk about. One of those "live to work" not "work to live" people. But it is, what it is and I love it.

I bought my first place! I've been in now for a year and a half and I fucking love it. The first thing I did? Paint my bathroom hot pink. Why? BECAUSE IT'S MINE AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!

I haven't had a mental breakdown in 2 years. No more crazy emotional Amanda anymore. That's right, this tiny little pill I take every day makes me "normal." Ok, I'll never be normal (I'm weird as fuck, man!) but it makes able to live day to day without anxiety attacks and I sleep properly. The only thing is those pills totally made me fat. I had worked so hard to lose weight and be healthy and then all of a sudden I start taking this pill and I'm shoving whatever is edible and within arms reach in my mouth. My stomach screams for food all day long. And I obey it a lot of the time. So I'm back at 158lbs. I'd like to sit here and tell you that I'm doing my best to control this situation, but I'm really not (in fact I'm typing this as I eat greasy fast food breakfast sandwich). I do work out but eating has just been fucked. Oh well.

Sex has been non-existent for the last 7 months. OH MY GOD 7 MONTHS?! Wow. I really need to get plowed something terrible. And hopefully it will be soon, and of course I will relay all the dirty details.

Ok, so that's it. I'm back. I hope you all are still down to read my random day-to-day ramblings.

Retiring

Hey guys...just thought I'd let you know I'm retiring this blog. A new blog is being done and it's a little tamer and more appropriate for my friends.

http://withpeniamarmedheretoreact.blogspot.com/

I'd love it if you all would check it out. It's not as risque but I really want to stop focusing on sex (obv sex will be a part of it, but not a HUGE part).

Hope to see you there!

FWB Finally! Or maybe not!

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Is there a sign that says "if you're emotionally unavailable, I want you?" hanging off my neck?

What is with my falling for emotionally unavailable guys?

So I start hanging out with that guy and we have that fabulous date night and I haven't heard from him since really. WTF?

I can't fucking deal with assholes like this anymore. I just want someone to tell me if they're not interested instead of just disappearing, cuz I can't handle the fucking disappearing act. Jesus fucking christ.

I'm sorry about your 3 hour long hard on...but I'm not doing anything about it

Huzzah! I'm alive. Sorry for the mini-blog-vacay but I needed a break. I know that sounds strange, but blogging about my life can sometimes be emotionally taxing. Anywho I'm back...with something to blog about for once.

Let's see...where to start. A while back (beginning of July I think) I took a week off work. During this week, I went up to my parent's summer condo with one of my best friends for the weekend. Oh the drunken tomfoolery that ensued. First of all, I went up there with a sprained ankle because of earlier
drunken tomfoolery. The weekend was great despite my sprained ankle...I did however have to wrap and ice it occasionally. We met up with some guys that were up there. They were younger but still cool. I got kinda flirty with one of them...he became my foot stool (ya know, had to keep that ankle elevated.) The boys decided to have a bonfire so on the way down the large set of cement steps to the fire pit I managed to miss a step and fall...re-spraining my already sprained ankle. This sucked! Except that it gave me an excuse to continue to use my new man-friend as a foot stool and that was nice. Eventually my ice pack got warm and my new man-friend suggested we go back to his condo to get me some ice. He piggy backed me all the way up the death stairs and back to his condo for ice. He asked "this deserves a hug ya?" Drunk Amanda replied, "Yaaaa, for sure!" So we hugged it out, and then all of a sudden we were making out. And then all of a sudden he was carrying me into the bedroom. The sex itself wasn't the greatest as far as orgasm potential but we had so much fun. Oh I totally love a good random sex night.

So that was that...as of late though, I've sort of met someone that has major boyfriend potential. We met on POF...sort of. He found me on POF and msged me, "you look familiar, how do I know you?" Turns out we have a ton of mutual friends. Anyways, we started talking on msn, he seemed really cool. We met up one night at a park to smoke a joint and I couldn't help but think about how friggin' cute he was. We talked some more and made "date" plans for a few nights later. Date night was a huge shock to me! He's a total metal head so I was really surprised to find that he's an absolute fucking gentleman. Opening car doors for me and such. Oh I was swooning, believe me. I was a little disappointed because all I got was a hug that night. Not a cuddle or a hand hold even. I really hate being a girl sometimes because my first thought when I got home was that he wasn't really interested because of the fact that he didn't try to put the moves on me but then we started talking on msn and we made a plan to go to the drive-in on the friday.

The drive-in was fucking amazing. I can't believe I've lived about 15 minutes away from it for so long and never gone! It's so neat...I can smoke and watch the movie all at the same time! We went to the 1:45am showing because he had gone to a football game earlier in the day and didn't think he'd get back into town until later. So at the movies, my mind was racing with thoughts about where I put my hand so he can try and hold it without looking really obvious and stuff. It was really really stupid. I hate dating, I hate having to think about stupid shit like that. Anyways though, I was sitting there getting really frustrated with myself because I just couldn't keep my mind on the movie and then all of a sudden he puts his arm around me and scooches over to cuddle up with me. We spent the entire movie just cuddling and laughing at the movie. He is a fantastic cuddler; he didn't just put his arm around me, he had his arm around me was rubbing my arm with his hand, and would rub my hand with free hand or push my hair out of my face. *swoon*

So we get back to my place at about 3:30ish in the morning and he asks if I want to smoke a joint, so we go up and have a beer, smoke a joint. We continue to cuddle up on the couch and throw in a movie. I got up for some reason, don't remember why and when I sat back down he kissed me. Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself "I bet they'd be a bad kisser and probably really bad in bed"? Well that was actually my first thought with him. Boy was I fucking wrong. He is, officially, the most amazing kisser. He uses just the tiny bit of tongue and does that sexy manly thing where they put their hand on the side of your face. So we start making out and he's blowing my fucking mind with his ability to kiss and I automatically want to strip down and fuck him. But I don't want to screw this up so in my head, I promised myself that as soon as he goes for my pants, I'm going to stop it and suggest it's getting late and that he go home. He never fucking went for my pants. We made out on my couch for like 3 hours. Finally, I was getting exhausted and I think he was too and he asked what time it was (oh about 6:45 in the morning) and he made a comment about how we're both going to be exhausted the next day. I told him he was welcome to crash with me but that I wasn't going to fuck him. He looked at my right in the eyes and said "I wasn't going to try, that's cool" so we went to bed and proceeded to make out and cuddle and sleep a tiny bit. I almost broke my promise to myself because when we really started making out I could tell he was going to be kinda rough in bed, which is a huge turn on. He'd bite my bottom lip occasionally and he'd put his hand through my hair and then slightly tug my hair to turn my head slightly. Oh man just thinking about it makes my girly parts tingle a little. I managed to stay strong though. Literally all that happened was that we made out, I felt bad that he spent almost the entire night with a huge fucking hard on and that he'd have no relief from me but he didn't seem bothered by it in the slightest.

So now I'm sitting here giddy, euphoric and swooning hard. Must stay strong. I've really wanted to have meaningful, intimate sex lately (probably from my last year and a half of slutting it up with randoms) so I'm going to wait with him. We'll see how long that lasts.